August 2002
Thought of the Month: Rules for Human
1. You will
receive one body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be
yours for the entire time you're here.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time
informal school called life. Each day in this school you will
have the opportunity to learn the lessons. You may like the
lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of
trial and error, and experimentation. The failed experiments are
as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately
works.
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented
to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have
learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that
does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons
to be learned.
6. There is no better a place than here. When your "there"
has become a "here", you will simply obtain another
"there" that will again look better than "here".
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate
something about another person unless it reflects to you
something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the
tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.
The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie inside you. The answers to life's questions
lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
July 2002
Quote of the Month: If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep.
Thought: THE PIT
A man fell into
a pit and couldn't get himself out.
A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you
down
there."
An objective person walked by and said, "It's logical that
someone
would fall down there."
A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into pits."
A mathematician calculated how he fell into the pit.
A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit.
An IRS agent asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.
A self-pitying person said, "You haven't seen anything until
you've
seem my pit."
A fire-and-brimstone preacher said, "You deserve your pit."
A Christian Scientist observed, "The pit is just in your
mind."
A psychologist noted, "Your mother and father are to blame
for your
being in that pit."
A self-esteem therapist said, "Believe in yourself and you
can get
out of that pit."
An optimist said, "Things could be worse."
A pessimist claimed, "Things will get worse."
Jesus, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of
the pit.
Joke of the Month:
A three-year-old went with his
dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2
boy
kittens & 2 girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he
replied, "I think
it's printed on the bottom."
Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother
noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your
shoes
are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid
me, Mom,
I KNOW they're my feet."
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If
anyone
has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will
that help?"
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and
began
putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal
crackers
and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken,"
the boy
explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
Can people predict the future with cards?
My mother can.
Really?
Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will
happen when my father gets home.
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read,
"The
man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the
city,
but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She
was
reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us
some
e-mail. AMEN"
June 2002
Quote of the Month: Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it empties today of its strength.- Corrie Ten Boom
Thought of the Month:
Grass lawns have to be the
stupidest thing we've come up with outside of thong swimsuits! We
constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne's lace, thistle, violets,
chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass
that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical
dependency program. Imagine the conversation God might have
with Peter about this:
"Peter, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the
world is going on down there in the South? What happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had
a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in
any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.
The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies,
honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast
garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green
rectangles."
"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great
extent to kill them and replace them with grass."
"Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites
really want all that grass growing there?"
"Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn."
"The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow
really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."
"Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it. Sometimes twice a week."
"They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"
"Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in
bags."
"They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"
"No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away."
"Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it
will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to
throw it away?"
"Yes, Sir."
"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we
cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and save them a lot of work."
"You aren't going believe this Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water
it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."
"What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That
was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the
summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural
blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and
bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the
soil. It's a natural circle of life."
"You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and have them hauled away."
"No! What do they do to protect the shrubs and tree roots in
the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"
"After throwing away Your leaves, they go out and buy
something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around
in place of the leaves."
"And where do they get this mulch?"
"They cut down trees and grind them up."
"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore."
"Paul, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you
scheduled for us tonight?"
"'Dumb and Dumber,' Lord. It's a real silly movie about..."
"Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."
Story: REACH YOUR LEVEL OF GOD'S PERFECTION
In Brooklyn, New York, Chush is a school that caters to learning-disabled children. Some children remain in Chush for their entire school career, while others can be main-streamed into conventional schools. At a Chush fund-raising dinner, the father of a Chush child delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, "Where is the perfection in my son Shaya? Everything God does is done with perfection. But my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child cannot remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God's perfection?" The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father's anguish and stilled by the piercing query. "I believe," the father answered, "that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that He seeks is in the way people react to this child." He then told the following story about his son Shaya:
One afternoon Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys Shaya knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, "Do you think they will let me play?" Shaya's father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But Shaya's father understood that if his son was chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging.
Shaya's father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his team-mates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning."
Shaya's father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on a glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shaya's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya's team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat at this juncture and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat. Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit with it.
However, as Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came in and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya's team-mates came up to Shaya and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya.
As the pitch came in, Shaya and his team-mate swung the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman.
Everyone started yelling, "Shaya, run to first. Run to first!" Never in his life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher's intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second." Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing short stop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, "Run to third." As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, "Shaya run home!" Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a "grand slam" and won the game for his team. "That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face," those 18 boys reached their level of God's perfection." --unknown to me
Joke of the Month:
Linda and Marion were comparing
notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
"I started a new practice last year," Linda said.
"I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off
every three months."
"Why in the world would you do that?" Marion asked.
"It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do
without," Linda said.
May 2002
Quote of the Month: The only people who appreciate change are wet babies.
Story: GRACE
The boy stood with back arched,
head cocked back and hands
clenched defiantly. "Go ahead, give it to me."
The principal looked down at the young rebel. "How many
times
have you been here?"
The child sneered rebelliously, "Apparently not enough."
The principal gave the boy a strange look. "And you have
been
punished each time have you not?"
"Yeah, I been punished, if that's what you want to call it."
He
threw out his small chest, "Go ahead I can take whatever you
dish
out. I always have."
"And no thought of your punishment enters your head the next
time
you decide to break the rules does it?"
"Nope, I do whatever I want to do. Ain't nothin' you people
gonna
do to stop me either."
The principal looked over at the teacher who stood nearby. "What
did he do this time?"
"Fighting. He took little Tommy and shoved his face into the
sandbox."
The principal turned to look at the boy, "Why? What did
little
Tommy do to you?"
"Nothin', I didn't like the way he was lookin' at me, just
like I
don't like the way your lookin' at me! And if I thought I could
do it, I'd shove your face into something."
The teacher stiffened and started to rise but a quick look from
the principal stopped him. He contemplated the child for a moment
and then quietly said, "Today my young student, is the day
you
learn about grace."
"Grace? Isn't that what you old people do before you sit
down to
eat? I don't need none of your stinkin' grace."
"Oh but you do." The principal studied the young mans
face and
whispered. "Oh yes, you truly do..."
The boy continued to glare as the principal continued, "Grace,
in
its short definition is unmerited favor. You can not earn it, it
is a gift and is always freely given. It means that you will not
be getting what you so richly deserve."
The boy looked puzzled. "Your not gonna whup me? You just
gonna
let me walk?"
The principal looked down at the unyielding child. "Yes, I
am
going to let you walk."
The boy studied the face of the principal, "No punishment at
all?
Even though I socked Tommy and shoved his face into the sandbox?"
"Oh, there has to be punishment. What you did was wrong and
there
are always consequences to our actions. There will be punishment.
Grace is not an excuse for doing wrong."
"I knew it," Sneered the boy as he held out his hands.
"Lets get
on with it."
The principal nodded toward the teacher. "Bring me the belt."
The
teacher presented the belt to the principal. He carefully folded
it in two and then handed it back to the teacher.
He looked at the child and said. "I want you to count the
blows."
He slid out from behind his desk and walked over to stand
directly in front of the young man. He gently reached out and
folded the child's outstretched, expectant hands together and
then turned to face the teacher with his own hands outstretched.
One quiet word came forth from his mouth.
"Begin."
The belt whipped down on the outstretched hands of the principal.
Crack!
The young man jumped ten feet in the air. Shock registered across
his face, "One" he whispered.
Crack! "Two." His voice raised an octave.
Crack! "Three..." He couldn't believe this.
Crack! "Four." Big tears welled up in the eyes of the
rebel.
"OK stop! That's enough. Stop!"
Crack! Came the belt down on the callused hands of the principal.
Crack! The child flinched with each blow, tears beginning to
stream down his face.
Crack!
Crack! "No please," the former rebel begged, "Stop,
I did it, I'm
the one who deserves it. Stop! Please. Stop..."
Still the blows came, Crack! Crack! One after another.
Finally it was over. The principal stood with sweat glistening
across his forehead and beads trickling down his face. Slowly he
knelt down. He studied the young man for a second and then his
swollen hands reached out to cradle the face of the weeping
child.
"Grace..."
- Author Unknown
Joke: Police Quotes
"The handcuffs are tight
because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear
them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning
you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Just how big were those two beers?
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
April 2002
Quote of the Month: Be like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath.
Thought of the Month: 10 Rules
For A Happy Day
1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...
I will not respond in a like manner.
2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY":
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I
will quietly ask GOD to bless that individual. I understand the
"enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker
or stranger.
3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I
do not spread gossip.
4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL NOT DO
IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would
have them do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.
8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE WHO IS DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the
difference to someone who is wrestling with life.
9. TODAY I WILL NURTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank GOD
for my body.
10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin
reading something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a
quiet place (at some point during this day) and listen to GOD's
voice!!!
March 2002
Quote of the Month: A loser doesn't know what he'll do if he loses, but talks about what he'll do if he wins, and a winner doesn't talk about what he'll do if he wins, but knows what he'll do if he loses. - Eric Berne
Thought of the Month: The Value Of A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives much. It enriches those who
receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a
moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so
rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so
poor but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in
business, and is the countersign of friendship. It brings rest to
the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and is
nature's best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought,
begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no
value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired
to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a
smile so much as he who has no more to give.
- Author Unknown
Story: A Variation on
"Footprints"
Now imagine you and the Lord Jesus walking down the road together.
For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily,
consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your prints are
a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds,
circles, departures and returns.
For much of the way it seems to go like this. But gradually,
your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon
paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as
true friends. This seems perfect, but then an interesting
thing happens: your footprints that once etched the sand next to
the Master's are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His
larger footprints is the small 'sandprint', safely enclosed. You
and Jesus are becoming one.
This goes on for many miles. But gradually you notice another
change. The footprint inside the larger footprint seems to
grow larger. Eventually it disappears altogether.
There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.
Again, this goes on for a long time. But then something
awful happens. The second set of footprints is back.
And this time it seems even worse. Zigzags all over the
place. Stops. Starts. Deep gashes in the sand.
A veritable mess of prints. You're amazed and shocked.
But this is the end of your dream.
Now you speak. 'Lord, I understand the first scene with the
zigzags and fits and starts and so on. I was a new Christian,
just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me
learn to walk with you.'
'That is correct.'
'Yes, and when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was
actually learning to walk in Your steps. I followed You very
closely.'
'Very good. You have understood everything so far.'
'Then the smaller footprints grew and eventually filled in with
Yours. I suppose that I was actually growing so much that I was
becoming like you in every way.'
'Precisely.'
'But this is my question. Lord ... was there a regression or
something? The footprints went back to two, and this time it was
worse than the first.'
The Lord smiles, then laughs. 'You didn't know?' He says. 'That
was when we
danced.'
unknown to me
Joke of the Month:
A lawyer dies in a car accident
on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly
Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his
hand and says "Congratulations!!!"
"Congratulations for what?" asks the lawyer.
"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter.
"We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years
old."
"But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I
only lived to be forty."
"That's impossible," says Saint Peter. "We've
added up your time sheets."
February 2002
Quote of the Month: Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. - Japanese proverb
Thought: Love vs. Obligation
A house is a house - until love
comes through the door, that is. And love intuitively goes around
sprinkling that special brand of angel dust that transforms a
house into a very special home for very special people: your
family.
Money, of course, can build a
charming house, but only love can furnish it with a feeling of
home.
Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to tuck
a little love note inside.
Money can provide a television set,
but love controls it and cares enough to say no and take the guff
that comes with it.
Obligation sends the children to
bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and
passes out kisses and hugs (even to teenagers!).
Obligation can cook a meal, but
love embellishes the table with a potted ivy trailing around
slender candles.
Duty writes many letters, but love
tucks a joke or a picture or a fresh stick of gum inside.
Compulsion keeps a sparkling house.
But love and prayer stand a better chance of producing a happy
family.
Duty gets offended quickly if it
isn't appreciated. But love learns to laugh a lot and to work for
the sheer joy of doing it.
Obligation can pour a glass of milk,
but quite often love will
add a little chocolate.
Author Unknown
Joke of the Month:
A young boy had just gotten his
driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if
they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to
him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up,
study the Bible a little, and get
your hair cut; then we'll talk about it."
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he
could use the car. His father said, "Son, I'm really
proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the Bible
well, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know
dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair,
Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long
hair."
His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere
they went."
Story of the Month:
A woman was at work when she
received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a
fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some
medication for her daughter.
Upon returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys
in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.
She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the
baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to
do.
The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.
She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open
the door." The woman looked around and found an old
rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground,
possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked
their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and
said, "I don't know how to use this." So she
bowed her head and asked God to send her some help.
Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty,
greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his
head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to
help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very
thankful.
The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help.
She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get
her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get
home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my
car?"
He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less
than one minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and
through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You
are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out
of prison yesterday. I was in prison for car theft and have only
been out less than 24 hours." The woman hugged the man
again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you
God! You even sent me a Professional!"
God may not always send us what we expect, but He will always
send us what we need. It's up to us to have the wisdom to
recognize the difference and be thankful.
author unknown
January 2002
Quote of the Month: Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein
Thought: PERFECT PEACE
There once was a King who
offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of
peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the
pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to
choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for
peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a
blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture
thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and
bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, in which
lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a
foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.
But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush
growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had
built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry
water, sat the mother bird on her nest ... perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize?
The King chose the second picture.
Do you know why?
"Because," explained the King, "peace does not
mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard
work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things
and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning
of peace."
unknown to me
Story: THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die. "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead." Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later...
Joke: KIDS VS TEACHERS
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you
doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: George can you count up
to 5?
George count up to 5 slowly using his fingers.
TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher?
George put up his hand and count to five again using his fingers.
TEACHER: John, how do you spell
"crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical
formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
Who said children are getting dumber every year. Check out the wisecracks below and judge for yourselves
TEACHER: How old were you on
your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
TEACHER: George, go to the map
and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one
important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago?
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you
always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in
the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a
10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
TEACHER: How can you prevent
diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a
sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
MOTHER: Why on earth did you
swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges
in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
